My husband likes to tease me. Well, he doesn’t just like to tease me, he likes to tease people in general. Most of our friends have silly nick-names that my husband has given them. Our friend “G-Unit” wore a G-Unit T-shirt to our house ONE time. Once! He isn’t even a big fan, it was probably just the only shirt lying around that happened to be clean that day so he wore it to play poker at our house. Little did he know, his life would be changed forever. Brandon has been known as G-Unit ever since. I forgot his real name for close to two years. Seriously. There have been others. T-Bone, Jer-Bear, Paul Wall and Quiet Guy. Mike has a knack for finding one little flaw, a weak spot or just a quirky habit and he pounces. It isn’t mean spirited or anything, his intentions are always light hearted and fun; but it can get annoying… especially to me. It is also hard to get him back. He is pretty unbothered by what anyone else says. Besides, it isn’t really my nature to relentlessly tease, so most often I let him have his fun without giving him the payback he so deserves.
But awhile ago, I found something.
There is a word that my husband cannot say. It isn’t that he doesn’t understand what it means, or can’t spell it. No, he actually, literally, physically cannot speak the word correctly. That word is: Peculiar. I don’t even know how it came to my attention that he couldn’t say it, but awhile ago he either brought it up or he tried to say it and couldn’t and I laughed at him. He openly admits that he can’t say it correctly and I really never thought too much about it. In fact, I had completely forgotten all about his peculiar disability until last night.
We were watching Spy, a comedy action movie starring Melissa McCarthy. The kids had fallen asleep early and it was such a treat to sit on the couch and watch a silly movie without listening to someone cry, having to wipe someone’s butt or making endless amounts of food for ungrateful children who end up feeding it all to the dog. Mike and I were relaxing and content. At one point in the film, a character says, “Well, this is a peculiar theme…” It hit me like a speeding train. I turned my head and innocently asked my unassuming husband, “What did she say?”
“Huh?” Mike looked at me.
“What kind of theme was it?” He looked confused like he had maybe missed something, so he rewound the movie back a few seconds. “Well, this is a peculiar theme…” I asked again, “What kind of theme was it?”
Mike shook his head with a little chuckle and gathered his thoughts. He sat up straight and feigning confidence, said:
“A pecul-ul-liar theme…” And the laughter began.
“What kind?!?!?” I screamed though my giggles. I was becoming hysterical just by his first attempt.
“Pecooolier. Pleckuuler. Pec – I can’t say it!” He was red-faced and we were laughing so hard it was actually silent. Every once in awhile a high pitched scream giggle escaped my mouth and thorough gasps for air, another failed attempt at pronouncing peculiar would escape his. “Peck…UUUU…uler. PeckOOOlaler…” We looked like lunatics. There were tears running down our cheeks, my stomach hurt, we couldn’t breathe. It went on for at least five minutes straight. Through my howls, I kept saying it correctly and he kept attempting to repeat it but just, no. That word and my husband’s mouth are simply not compatible.
It was hands down the most fun I’ve had on a Sunday night in a long while. And now, I’ve got a definite stopper. The next time he teases me about my clumsiness, my constant worrying, my need to follow the rules or get to the airport three hours early. I’m bringing out the big guns.
Mike, repeat after me:
That was peculiar.
I bet it shuts him up. Or it will, at the very least, hand us a few minutes of pure glee!