Monday I went to pick the boys up from daycare and noticed that Truman had a scratch on his face, next to his nose. It was scabbed over and not very long, but kind of on the wider side, like a fingernail gouge. I had just trimmed his nails, so I knew it was either from another kid or a toy. His teacher said, “Truman got a scratch today.” but didn’t elaborate and since she was busy chasing ten other toddlers around, I didn’t press the issue. Truman is a little klutzy and often has scrapes and bruises. He pointed his new one out to me proudly, (“Mommy, owwie!”) and that was the end of it.
Last night, Thursday, I went to pick the kids up and found Truman playing outside in the big sand box. Miss Edna ran past me chasing a little boy, and managed to tell me over her shoulder to check his pocket. He said his good-byes and we began walking down the hall to pick up Grant. I checked the little pocket on his cargo shorts, fully expecting to find something gross or some treasure he uncovered in the play yard. Much to my surprise, I pulled out a heart shaped sucker and a folded piece of paper. I gave the sucker to Truman and told him he could hold it but had to wait to eat it until we picked Daddy up (I don’t let him have candy while I am driving alone in case he starts choking. Call me paranoid, I’ll answer!) Then, I unfolded the note.
I am sorry for the fight we had the other day. Sometimes I get angry and don’t know how to express my feelings. I can assure you it will not happen again. Please forgive me for the pain I have caused. Here is a sucker to hopefully try and make it better. Again I am sorry my friend.
– Much Love
And that’s when I knew that Aidyn’s mom is awesome. Was the note and sucker necessary? Nope. Appreciated? Absolutely. This isn’t elementary school, no one recommended or forced her to write an apology letter. I would have never even known that Aidyn was the reason for Truman’s owwie. She did this on her own to apologize for her two or three year old who did something that ALL two and three year olds do. I am so impressed! I have no doubt that if she took the time to write a letter, she certainly took the time to have a discussion with her son about his behavior. If more parents did that instead of ignoring it or blaming someone else, imagine the kind of adults we would have running this world eventually. Responsible. Humble. Caring. Empathetic. People who find violence unacceptable. What a world!
With all of the talk surrounding bullying in the last few years, I have often thought about how awful it would be if my kid was picked on day in and day out. You know what would be worse though? If my kid was the bully! I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure that my kids treat other people kindly, understand that every human being deserves to be treated with respect and care and it is never acceptable to resort to violence. They will also learn to apologize when they make a mistake and to (try to) forgive when apologized to. Unfortunately, since not everyone will raise their kids this way, I will also have to teach my children to defend themselves. Maybe by the time they are fathers the notion of using violence against other people will be so obscure, they won’t have to teach their kids self defense… I can dream right? I couldn’t pick Aidyn out of a line-up and his Mom probably has no idea who Truman is, but I think she and I have a lot in common. I think we would be friends. Aidyn’s Mom, you are doing it right. And I thank you.