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I posted a link to the YouTube video of the couple singing “We Can’t Stop, We Won’t Stop (Having Babies)” on Facebook the other day and now I seriously cannot stop watching it. I don’t understand why, I am just completely obsessed and for some reason the damn video makes me cry and become ridiculously happy at the same time. It also (Hi Honey!) makes me want to have ten babies. Yes, I know what you are thinking:

Um, Annie you are constantly talking about how insane your current two children are making you and you complain about pregnancy and you can barely get your shit together enough to clean poop off of your floors.

Yes, yes, of course I know all this. None of that stops me from wanting to grow people in my body and then force them to be a part of my family. Kids are awesome! (Well, my kids are awesome anyway. I can’t really speak for your kids… but I bet they are awesome at least some of the time!) I am too old and got too late of a start (and have the wrong husband) to have a Duggar-style family with 19 kids, but if it were up to me… I would have four. (Mike yells at me every time I watch 19 Kids and Counting by the way. I have huge disagreements with some of the ideology there, but I must admit I’m intrigued by how anyone manages 19 children. Plus, “it is their family, they can make who they want to.”) Mike is drawing the line at three kids, and who knows maybe I’ll be okay with that after I actually have one more child puking on me constantly and waking up screaming for the vacuum at 3:00 am. I don’t know though. Every time Truman says some new funny word, or I get a huge gummy baby grin from Grant, my uterus does that flip-flop motion and I swear I can hear tiny eggs begging to be freed from my ovaries. I cannot imagine seeing all of those adorable things for the last time. I do realize that having a gang of children isn’t all peaches and cream, and there are probably a few negatives to consider. I decided it would be best to try to talk myself out of it by making a list of pros and cons about having a big family:

PROS:

Funny and cute behavior all over the place.

Always someone to hang out with, and siblings that are never bored.

Good chance of having at least one kid that will grow up to be your best friend.

Lots of grandchildren.

Big family meals and holidays.

Completely innocent and uninhibited singing and dancing.

Breastfeeding.

You get to choose a bunch of names and everyone knows that is like 40% of the fun.

Seeing the “firsts” over and over again.

Slobbery, drooling kisses.

Contributing good people to society, and maybe changing this world for the better.

Snuggles, cuddles, and milk-drunk sleepy smiles.

Chubby arms around your neck.

Feeling kicks and full body rolls happening inside of your body.

Examining your new baby, marveling at every inch of their perfect little body.

That beautiful round pregnant belly.

CONS:

The lack of sleep.

Having to discipline for a gazillion different offenses.

The 3 P’s – Poop, Pee, Puke.

Making monumental decisions that are always wrong in someone’s eyes.

Temper tantrums.

Serious lack of personal space and time.

Car seats. Installing, removing, finding room in a vehicle for… all of it…

Daycare. If we had more than three kids, there is no way we could pay for daycare.

Breastfeeding. (Yes, it is a love-hate thing sometimes.)

The physically taxing parts of pregnancy.

Money for travelling, fun, activities, food, college… sigh. (My husband’s number one reason for having no more than three children.)

What if they turn out to be assholes?

As you can see, my pros out weigh my cons and I’ve talked myself out of nothing. (In fact, I might want six kids now.) I think maybe my husband’s list would be far different, not because he doesn’t love the stuff that I love, but because he worries more about the financial aspect of things. (Plus, I think he has less fun during my pregnancies than I do.) I just always imagined I would have four kids, two boys and two girls. Since Mike is very decided that our next pregnancy will be our last, I don’t know which way I want it to go now. I’d like to have a daughter, but I would like my daughter to have a sister. I don’t know anything about the brother-sister relationship and feel like she might be left out of that special brothers-only bond that they have going on. Maybe having another boy would be better since we already know what we are doing with boys and we would just hope they eventually all marry women I adore and I’ll have wonderful daughters-in-law. Still, having two of each means that each child experiences a brother relationship and a sister relationship. That is my idea of a “perfect” family. So, my only hope now is to have twin girls next pregnancy… Right, Honey? Honey? Where’d you go? Why are all of your clothes missing…

How many children do you want? When did you know you were done?

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