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I recently wrote a children’s book and I’m still learning about my publishing options. It seems like such a difficult and expensive process, but being a published author would really be a dream come true for me! In addition to children’s books, I would eventually love to take some of the posts I’ve written on Just Me! (and Him) (and Them) along with new essays and compile them into a real live grown-up’s book. I think (well, more like daydream) about this fairly often. I am constantly jotting down ideas for awesomely entertaining stuff that would most definitely make me an Oprah book club author. (Hey! I said daydream okay?) Mostly, I think about the book’s title. My friend Shannon suggested one the other day that I have added to the list:

Stupid Shit I’ve Heard About Breastfeeding
By Annie Yeoman of Just Me! (And Him) (And Them)

I like it a lot! And it is true. I’ve decided to share the other possible titles and get some input from my wonderful readers. Here’s my list so far:

Mother Lovin’ Stratchers

– You may remember that story…

I’m Showering Alone Today!

– I declare this when I’m completely touched out and need three minutes to myself.

There Is A Dirty Diaper In My Purse

– Because there usually is for some reason.

Turn It On, Plug It In

Truman is obsessed.

Ways To Impress Your Gynecologist

I try.

Books, Bobos, and Blow Dryers

– Three B’s I’m begged for daily.

The Wheels Are Falling Off Fast

– My cry for help when it is all crumbling down around me.

You Just Spit Corned Beef In My Eye

– Honestly said to Truman on St. Patrick’s Day.

That’s Not Funny, It’s Mean

– Said almost every day, and at least ten times yesterday.

Please Stop Flushing; And Other Ignored Requests

– Definitely said every day.

Is This About Crackers?

– See Mother Lovin’ Stratchers

You Cannot Put Magnets In Your Mouth!

– Not allowed. Still attempted.

You Cannot Run Around With The Lap Top

– Also not allowed. Still attempted.

Get Your Feet Off Of Your Brother’s Head

– Please, for the Love of God.

I Have Poop Running Down My Arm

– Often.

It Sure Smells A Lot Like Shit In This Van!

Well, it does.

Why Does My Toddler Hate Me? Musings Of A Tired Mother

– Things I ponder at 3:00 am.

So, this is by no means a final list. There is plenty of time before I’m ready to publish my book so I am sure I’ll have a few new title options by then. What is your favorite so far?

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