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I have written before about my older sister, she’s the one who is pregnant right now with the newest addition to our family. Nellie is four years older than me, and growing up we had a pretty typical relationship for sisters; playmates who occasionally beat the hell out of each other. I called her a “dam bitch” and hated her “dam guts” most of our early childhood. As we got older, the arguments became less frequent and somewhere along the way, she became my best friend. We haven’t beaten the hell out of each other in a very long time. While going through more old writing, I found the following poem.


Nellie holding me 1983

A Poem For Nellie

Back in the days,
Before even “Moo”
I think of how,
I used to hate you.

You used to be mean,
And steal my toys.
I was nice and quiet,
And you made so much noise!

That eventually changed,
Although I don’t know how,
And all those things we hated before,
We laugh about now.

Think back a lot of years,
The awful things we’d do.
I mean, I bit you that one time,
And your boobs never grew! (Sorry!)

Of course there have been so many good times,
And they cover up the bad.
And whatever you did wrong,
I never told Mom and Dad!

But our best memories,
Our best times of fun,
Are still ahead in the future,
The party’s just begun!

You just wait until,
The day I get my car.
Of course, by then I’ll be 21,
And we can hit the bar!

But the main reason I wrote this rhyme,
is to tell you thanks a lot.
For being a sister and a friend,
and making the memories I’ve got.

Happy 19th!
Love you lots,

So, if this was for Nellie’s 19th birthday, it should have been dated 03/02/97. I was fourteen, almost fifteen. This cracks me up for a few reasons, besides it simply being funny.

–  I often forget that we used to call my sister “Moo,” a nickname given by our dear friend Angie because Nellie collected cows.

– She did steal my toys. There is irrefutable video evidence of this. She stole my tricycle and laughed while I cried and begged for it back. My Dad videoed the whole thing instead of rescuing me.

–  I really did bite her boob when I was little, though I’m sure it did nothing to stunt her growth in that area. I had bigger boobs than her by the time I was ten, but that’s because my sister was a twig and I was always chubby. I would gladly trade places with her now because after numerous weight gains and losses, two pregnancies and breastfeeding in a million creative positions every day, my breasts look less than stellar, while hers still look awesome.

– I never did rat on her for anything, she did that all on her own. Worst.Liar.Ever. Seriously! She told on herself every time (the very few times) she did something wrong.

– I still feel like our best times are in the future. I’ve been away for a lot of years, so I can’t wait to do more fun stuff together when we move back.

– I must have had such little faith in my parents! I had a car waiting for me the second I got my driver’s license. Not a brand new car, but a car that got me around just fine for a long time. I owned two cars before I reached 21.

– The first time I “hit the bar” with my sister I was 19 and we went to Canada. It was for her bachelorette party, and SHE drove. What? How awful is that?

I don’t know if I wrote a poem for my little sister at any point, but if I don’t stumble upon one, I am going to write her one. She too is an amazing woman and I love her dearly. I guess our family just doesn’t have that, “one asshole kid,” unless it is me and… well… I highly doubt that! God, my parents are lucky.


Nellie and Me at my wedding 2009