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It was an eventful weekend at the Yeoman house! Mine was slightly extended since I stayed home from work Monday. I am battling some kind of hybrid cold/allergy/I don’t really know what the hell it is type of sickness, but more on that later. So many interesting things happened, and so many great thought-provoking conversations took place that I find myself with many potential blog topics this Tuesday morning. There may be so much to discuss about last weekend, that it stretches through the week! So, I’m going to call this series: Last Weekend.

As you may remember from last week, I was preparing for a big garage/craft/direct sales event on Saturday. It was quite the to-do since we had a ton of stuff and also have two non-running vehicles in our driveway and garage that needed to be pushed out onto the street. (Trashy? Perhaps. At least they both have tires and look operational.) Mike and I did that on Friday night, but only managed to move one car. The other wouldn’t budge so it stayed in the driveway. I also made seven big fluorescent signs that read HUGE SALE! with my address, and half-assed cleaned the bathroom in case any of the other vendors needed to use it. I fell into bed completely wiped at 11:00.

Saturday morning, I woke up at 6:00 with no voice. My throat wasn’t exactly sore but it felt very strained. I certainly couldn’t cancel the sale, so I got up and took off to post my HUGE SALE! signs all over the area. I grabbed bagels from Einstein Brothers and came back home to find the other vendors setting up and ready for customers. I was selling garage sale items and my crochet stuff, and the other three vendors are direct sales representatives for Jamberry Nails, Scentsy and Paparazzi. They also had garage sale stuff. It was a pretty big sale with a lot to choose from. It seemed like the second I got back, cars started pulling up. In the time it took me to run into the house and grab a knife for the schmear, I made $5.00. There was a ton of traffic!

Of course, not everyone bought. I learned some people are looking for very, very specific items from garage sales. A few sought after items included; bicycles, gym equipment, planting pots, and my favorite, a kayak paddle. I had none of those things. Others didn’t buy because apparently, our prices were too high. I had five dresses for $10.00 each. All of them were semi-formal, worn once or twice and cost at least $70.00 originally, so I though $10.00 was fair. I put them in a tote and stuck a sign on it that read, $10.00 and never gave it another thought. Until they came up the driveway.

They were two tiny little ladies nearing 80 years old, straight backed and speed walking right into my garage. They were rocking red lipstick and enormous sunglasses; and one had on a red sequined hat. Through the rows of overly stuffed totes labeled $1.00, $2.00, $3.00, the tables loaded with $0.50 items and the items lined up on the floor, every single one costing under $5.00…they zoomed in on my dresses.

TEN dollahs? My Gawd, what is TEN dollahs?” They were loud, they were New Yorkers, and they were flabbergasted. Never mind the fact that they weren’t looking into the tote to see what was costing “ten dollahs,” (for all they knew I could have had gold bricks in there) they were just incensed that there was anything for ten dollahs to begin with. It also seems appropriate to state that both of them together could have fit into one of my dresses, so these items were nothing they could use anyway, not that it mattered to them.

“Oh, no. Oh, Gawd. No way. Ten dollahs!” So, they turned on their heels and stomped down the driveway, red sequined hat and flat little hineys bouncing away angrily. I had no choice but to laugh because it is illegal to punch old ladies I can no longer allow rude people to ruin my days, and so the sale went on. People haggled over a dollar, and argued over values. One man tried to buy my cell phone – the one I am currently using. Another complained that our HUGE SALE wasn’t HUGE enough. Two lotions were stolen from the Scentsy vendor. A man nearly jumped for joy when I threw in an extra shot glass for free after he bought 8 of them. Another man felt triumphant in his ability to score a drill for $3.00 instead of the $5.00 I was asking. Yet another man, unsure of what was in the warmer, stuck his fingers into the Scentsy girl’s melted wax effectively burning the crap out of himself. Thankfully, his embarrassment prevented him from getting angry. I had a lot of compliments on my crochet items, and a photographer asked if I could make him photo props in the future, which is very exciting. The kids drew a lot of attention and managed to smooth a few rough edges on some people. All in all, it was a good day. I made $176.00 before noon and the other girls did pretty well too. I sold three out of the five dresses, though I did discount two of them since the lady bought a ton of other stuff.

By the time the garage was closed and the signs were pulled, I was exhausted. I thought nothing was harder than needy eyewear patients, but I was wrong. Garage sale shoppers are waaaaaayyyy worse.

* If you are interested in seeing my crochet stuff check out Tru Baby Treasures on Facebook. Message me for ordering information!