Facebook posts about friendship have made me reflect on my own friendship situation lately. I don’t make friends easily. I’m not really sure why. After all, I have a sparkling personality, biting wit, and I’m amazingly beautiful… hahahahahaha oh yes, I’m a catch! In all honesty, I’m laid back and not hard to get along with and I think I’m relatively interesting and fun. Despite my awesomeness, I have very few close friends. Not counting my sisters and cousins, I can count my close friends on one hand, and they all live far away. I have a ton of other acquaintance type friends but not ladies that I talk to on a regular basis or really hang out with. A lot of them are older and able to do whatever they want because their kids are grown or younger and are able to do whatever they want because they don’t have kids yet. None of this normally bothers me, but sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on a big part of being a well-rounded woman. I think a big part of the issue is that my husband makes friends really easily and those friends become “our” friends. “Our” friends just happen to be single men who have no intention of settling down with someone who could be my future BFF, or men who bring girls over that I get along with famously, but then I never see again. They play poker with us, and sometimes come over to eat food and watch a fight or something. I love these guys, but I’m not going to ask them to go shopping with me or get a pedicure together.
Another issue is that I work full time and have a marriage and household to maintain. Most days, by the time I get Truman to bed, all I can manage is an hour of couch time before I’m ready for bed. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of time for girl-talk or wine nights. Since most women have similar schedules, they probably feel the exact same way. Then, of course, there are a lot of girls that I just don’t see myself hanging out with. I’m not into high maintenance, high drama, big partiers, or a girl that is going to want more than I can give emotionally. I’m not into having a friend around my house every day that I have to include in all of my family time, and I don’t want to deal with someone who demands more of my time than my kid does. I just want someone who is in the same stage of life as I am. Someone with cheerios stuck inside her bra and boogers on her jeans. A lady who knows just how long to hang out without me having to yawn sixteen times to get her to leave. A girl that understands that I will be getting up at 6:30 tomorrow morning no matter what happens tonight, so dinner at 10:00 isn’t really my thing. I want a woman that understands that I have no desire to wear four inch heels with a micro dress showing off my cellulite while walking around the Strip on my way to a club where I can’t even sit down without paying a small fortune for a table. At the same time, I’d like to have a glass of wine and some conversation with at least a PG-13 rating instead of cookies and milk after baby-gym. Is dinner, drinks, and a few laughs wrapped up by 9:00 that much to ask? So…maybe I’m the problem.
Know what would be even better than a girl-friend? A couple that Mike and I could be friends with. I have to believe there is the perfect friend couple out there for us somewhere. A husband and wife with a child or two around Truman’s age, who like to hang out and drink beer, watch sports, and barbeque. People who are funny and not stuck up, who don’t take themselves too seriously and won’t get offended if we don’t want to hang out every single weekend. Maybe they would be willing to babysit while we went out for a night, and allow us to return the favor. A family we could go on a day trip with that would understand walking at toddler speed, and meltdowns. Yet, this is an even harder goal to achieve considering that I would have to like them AND Mike would have to like them. (We do have couple friends that fit all of our criteria, it just so happens that they live in other states, which makes that baby-sitting thing hard to achieve.)
I guess I should stop worrying about it for a while anyway. We are planning on moving next summer and I don’t want to find perfect friends here in Las Vegas only to leave them. Maybe Michigan will bring us closer to our companions…maybe not and we’ll just be stuck with each other and our kids… not that that would be all bad either, we like each other’s company and I can even convince him to get a pedicure with me once in a while. I guess time will tell. Do you have couple besties? What about the perfect Mommy friends?