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I wrote this in June before I decided to create a blog. I wrote it as more of a journal entry, something I’ve always tried to do at least a few times a year to  look back on and reflect.
Today I turned 32. So far, I don’t feel any different. The day started out almost exactly how 31 started out, with my husband forgetting it was my birthday in the morning, then sending me a text, then calling me right after the text (sounding a little sheepish and panicky) to apologize and wish me a Happy day. It doesn’t make me mad or anything. I know he knows when my birthday is and I know he probably has a billion other things on his mind every morning, just like I do. As long as he recognizes the date at some point during the day I’m good with it. I have gotten lots of Facebook and text message love today, which makes one feel good no matter what they may say about either form of communication. Is it less personal than a phone call? Sure. But pre-Facebook did I ever get 50 phone calls wishing me a Happy Birthday? No way! I must say, quantity beats quality on this one. Plus, I can’t answer phone calls all day at work, but I can click on that little notification button and smile at my new message.
So, what are my hopes for 32? First and foremost, health and wellness for my family and self. Our second bundle of joy will arrive this fall and I pray for a safe entry for him into this world. I selfishly pray for a quick and painless delivery for myself…well, as painless as possible. I hope for a little financial ease this year. Things are rough everywhere, and I’m tired of the squeeze. I’m sure we have it better than many, so I cannot complain too much but a little extra would be nice. I’d love to pay off some debt and start saving for a house. That brings me to the BIG ONE. I’d like to pack it all up and say goodbye to Las Vegas this year, and head back to the Midwest. It is a big deal. It is something I never thought we would do. Having a second baby has brought us to this decision, which is odd because having one baby didn’t. I think the idea of flying as a family of four is a little more daunting and a little less feasible financially. We are used to visiting family and friends at least twice a year. I feel like even once a year would be difficult with two kids. Airfare for four is expensive. A rental car would be a must every time. Finding somewhere where all of us can sleep would be tricky, so a hotel would probably be best. It just adds up. Not to mention, when you live far away from the family and have children, it is your responsibility to make sure your children know their family. That means any vacation time you get, needs to be spent on a trip back to family. That means you destroy any chance of ever having a fun vacation to any place else. If you live near family and see them frequently, it is perfectly acceptable to take a family vacation AWAY from them. I want my kids to have fond memories of vacations all over the place. I don’t want them telling their friends, “We vacationed in Michigan every year.” Most importantly, people we love are getting older. Our nieces and nephews are growing up. We are missing home. Las Vegas has been the best decision we ever made for ourselves. We have had adventure, we have had to rely on only each other, we have made great friends and we’ve grown a lot. We will miss it here, no doubt. It has been an excellent seven years.
On a personal growth point, I want 32 to be the year I find my groove. I’m tired of being disorganized and floating through. I want an orderly home, a more active social life and a more serious business mind-set. I’d love to stay home to raise my children and make money doing something that I love. I love crocheting and crafting and really want to market myself in a way that would bring in enough business to allow me to stay home. I have never been unemployed in my entire adult life, in fact even before I was an adult. I’ve held a paying job since I was 14. The longest I’ve ever had off of work was seven weeks for maternity leave, and I assure you it was no vacation. I’m tired. I’m tired of getting up every morning to drop my baby off and pay other people to raise him so I can go to a job where I am underpaid and underappreciated. I hate to come home exhausted and spend only two hours with my son before he falls asleep. I’m grateful for a paying job, mind you, but I need a change. So, maybe 32 will be the year. No matter what, I am so blessed to have the life that I have, the loved ones that I have and the opportunities that I have. If not one thing changed this year, I still wouldn’t be bad off.
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